#also its probably funnier if they can just die and come back in this au

[t4t4tclethian]

hitman joel x businessman (? not sure about this one but its what ive got) xb where joel was originally hired to kill xb but then xb kept wiggling his way out of every single attempt. and then joel's contract expires but he still keeps trying to kill xb because he wants to finish the job and he has a reputation to uphold here! who's going to hire a hitman who comically fails in every attempt to kill this one guy? and then he tries to befriend xb in disguise to figure out this guy's weaknesses. (xb knows the whole time but is extremely paranoid anyways and kinda wants to see where joel's going with this).

(featuring grian and the rest of the magic mountain gang as joel's hitman friends who bully him mercilessly, keralis as. well i feel like you can't write xb without a keralis. and hypno as xb's necromancer friend who raises him from the dead the few times joel actually Does manage to poison him or whatever)

[lostonehero]

Marius has a bad time or more new mechs and tma au stuff

Marius was rubbing his eyes. The pain was getting worse as they continued deeper into these tunnels. "Mr. Bouchard, I don't mean to sound rude, but how much farther?" He was incredibly uncomfortable, and his hair was threatening to move without his permission from the slick back position.

Elias looks back and smiles. "Not much further now, Marius. Now, the history of these tunnels goes back over 200 years. Created by Robert Smirke himself, now he was quite detail orientated if you knew him."

Marius nods. He doesn't really know how long humans live, but he knows how long Martin should live and that he wanted to expand that. He knew about the other species that his crew was made up of and what that meant. He probably should look more into humans for Martin's sake. "That's very interesting, sir." He barely could register the now open room they were in, let alone the mummified corpse.

"Now I normally don't have the choice in choosing my new body, the Beholder picks for me, and I wake up and move on. However, the situation has changed, and unfortunately, this body is on its last legs." Elias sighs.

Marius felt like his eyes were about to explode from pressure, and he barely registered that he was being spoken too.

"I'm having Peter take over in the meantime since you're so new to the institute. Elias was here for at least 3 years, but I can't be picky. Not when I'm getting so close and you just walked in. I really have to thank you, Marius." Elias hums softly. "Now, don't worry, you won't be left when I take over. I've heard death is quite peaceful."

Marius's vision went black as he collasped on the floor. He could feel a warm sticky liquid drip down his cheeks before sweet unconsciousness took over.

.......

Jonah opened his eyes with a sigh. "Not an enjoyable process being awake, but necessary for the situation." He walked over to the corpse on the floor and fished out his phone. He shudders, finally realizing his new body felt wrong on many different levels. He went to run a hand through his new hair and bit back a surprised yelp.

"Not human." Marius blearily blinked as he floated next to the man possessing his body. "Also, be gentle. My hair is very sensitive."

"You're still alive?" Jonah watches Marius float in front of him.

"Kind of comes with the territory. I wonder if you'll stick around if I get killed well, my body, at least." Marius scratches his chin. "I can't say I've been possessed before, and it's quite an odd feeling."

Jonah stumbles back and hits a wall with a new jolt of nerves he has no experience with. He goes up his spine. "What are you?"

Marius snickers. "Is this how Jonny felt watching me stumble around for the first hundred of years felt? Because if it is, then I get his humor." He smiles as he floats down to sit next to the man possessing his body. "I would take over, but seeing you flail around is way funnier. I'm not human, I'm not even from earth to be fair."

......

Jonny can feel his tail threaten to break his belt loops on his pants. He was annoyed the sun went down, and he was stuck waiting outside Elias's office waiting for Marius. This was incredibly frustrating. Why did he have to wait for him he's a grown ass man. He can take care of himself, and it's not like he could die.

Jonnys phone buzzed and he took it out to see a message from Martin

Martin: Is Marius out yet? I'm sorry I asked for you to wait. I'm making your favorite when you both get back. I even found some bad alien movies for this weekend for just us to enjoy. I mean, you don't have to. I know you might have other plans, and that's ok.

Jonny can feel his face heat up. Ok, he knows why he's doing it, and homemade dinner sounded amazing. He was never much of a cook unless you counted butchering an animal you kill and cooking it over an open flame proper dinner. Martin spoiled him, and he expected nothing in return it's the least he could do to wait for Marius. He knew Ashes had to drag Ivy out of the library because it's Friday night, and the building was closed for the weekend.

Jonny began to play with his phone before his ears twitched with a new noise in the air that he knew to be Marius laughing. He scowls, shoving his phone in his pocket. "Are you quite done wasting time?" His annoyed scowl dropped to a confused frown as he confronted Marius.

Marius looked disheveled, which he rarely was unless it was early morning or he just left Raphella lab. His tail was swaying lazily behind him, and his hair seemed to be stretching. His pointed ears, Martin like to call elf ears, were blue at the top to match his mood, which was happiness. "Jonny!"

"Please tell me you're drunk." Jonny pinched his brow and sighed. He would much rather prefer a drunk Marius to a sober one. It's much easier to get him to do things.

"I'm possessed!" Marius breaks down in giggles. "I know you can't see him, but his face when I slit my throat was priceless. Also, he stays after I die, which is a little annoying, but he had no idea I wasn't human." He starts to laugh harder. "So so Elias wasn't actually Elias it was this guy Jonah possessing his body, and he picked..." He composes himself the best he could without breaking down laughing again. "He picked me! To possess! I've got his eyes now."

Jonny raised his brow, but the gray eyes were definitely not Marius's, but they were in his head. "So you got a dead guy in you?"

"I have a guy scared to die in me." Marius breaks down laughing again.

Jonny snickers that turns to laughter and is very insane laughter. "Fucking scared to die? That's fucking hilarious. I I.... fuck me I'm texting the group chat."

.....

The less cool mech chat because Martin isn't here

Jonny: guys Marius has a dead guys eyes now

Ashes: like in his hands or...?

Raphella: did he get affected by one of the cursed books? I will run tests.

Tim: You've gotta be specific. TS is asking if it's the same guy who stole their vocal cords.

Jonny: Like in his skull.....

Jonny sends a picture of Marius purple face mid laughter and his eyes are clearly gray and not green anymore. His hair is pointed up straight, and his sharp teeth are on display. There's blood on his white shirt from an earlier slit throat.

Raphella: I would like to remove the eyes

Tim: dude what the fuck

Brian: Is there another doctor?

Jonny: so.....

Jonny puts in a audio message explaining the entire situation as Marius is giggling in the background adding details like the guys name is Jonah and he's nearly 300 years old and how he did this to serve his god.

Ivy: so can he get the keys and I can go to the library?

Ashes: no

Ivy: fuck you

Ashes: Martin wants you to join game night Sunday.

Ivy: that means Raphella cant drag Marius to her lab

Raphella: darling I have wendsday open for that

TS: Honorary Mechanism!

Jonny: mechanism plus one.

Ashes: sorry TS I'm with Jonny

TS: That Is OK We Have A New Friend

Marius: Jonah didn't belive in aliens.

Several people are typing

[izusun]

Headcanon: Izuku is into DIY.

Hot Take: Izuku would create a long furby. He has a collection of various eldritch creepy long furbies. Katsuki absolutely refuses to go into his room because of them. He would've exploded them by now but that would make Izuku cry.

Other CursedTM Things that Izuku does that makes Katsuki die inside and that Katsuki tries to hide from the rest of Class 1-A:

He's a part of the Vulture Culture community and collects roadkill and dead animals to turn into bones.

He has a collection of shitty All Might hawaiian shirts.

He has a collection of stuffed animals. They all have names ripped from Lovecraft such as "Yawgsathoth" and "Mother of Pus"

He writes fanfiction of the heroes.

He has a giant worm on a string plush, and his room is also decorated with Worms on Strings (you have no idea how much Katsuki had to bribe him not to add worms on strings to his uniform blazer)

He does have a plague doctor mask and will regularly just go out in a cloak and his mask

He cosplays exclusively female heroes, and crossdresses the worst dresses

He basically does art makeup, on his face and the face of Katsuki

"Hey what are you reading?" "Oh, this book on how to cook frogs."

He will eat anything. Including stuff that is on the ground. He has an iron stomach.

The actual reason Izuku hangs up All Might everywhere (it used to be a mix of all heroes) is because once in middle school Katsuki accused him of being straight, so he put him up everywhere and continued the habit, Katsuki hates his room now

- Goblin Anon (otherwise known as Goblin anon projects everything she does or wants to do onto her fav)

HI GOBLIN!!! GENUINELY SCREAMED AT THIS AU BECAUSE WTF

even i would not want to enter the beloved’s (izuku’s) room because of his shit.

i’ve searched up long furbys and i am, simply put, traumatized. i had a collection of furbys when i was a kid but we had to give them away because there’s too much of them. but long furbys? i am very much scared.

there’d be a picture of a long furby under the cut, and i’m genuinely terrified of the fucker.

also, can i just say that izuku writing fanfictions is the least cursed thing that he does? because like, reading the rest is like looking at that picture where you can’t decipher a single thing because, again, wtf izuku.

but they’re also funnier? creepier? because i can genuinely see izuku doing those dhekdoowks

✄┈┈┈

this shit would probably be snaking around the frames of izuku’s door. or he probably has one at the corner of his wall, the one that meets with the ceiling, and when a visitor looks up, they’re greeted by the sight of this centipede looking furby that has additional four eyes that izuku lovingly and carefully sewn on. it’s so nightmarish :’)

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

the vulture culture part started when they were young. his interest started when he saw a documentary on how to pin butterflies and he was like, “you know what? thats actually something i want to do!” but! BUT!! he cannot catch a butterfly, thus he settled for mounting dragonflies which he collected in the nearby stream (where katsuki fell).

fun fact about mounting dragonflies: they lose colours when they’re dead. you can use acetone to not only help preserve its colours, but also to stop its decay. they decay so quickly, it’s terrible.

anyways, izuku does not know that and instead followed a youtube video of how to mount dragonflies, using an old picture frame as the case.

inko comes home, sees his son doing his stuff and is just happy that izuku’s not rewatching that loud all might video. she helps him pin the other wings and they are fascinated at how pretty they look. well, the next day, the wings are now transparent and the belly side of the dragonflies are black. it also stinks so they had to throw the whole thing plus the case.

izuku’s fascination grows from there.

a failed experiment, after all, instigates the desire to right them.

so that’s where he starts: butterflies, moths, beetles, another dragonfly case.

katsuki is fascinated and disgusted because, “why would you want dead insects in your room, deku?”

the rest began when the bakugou’s and the midoriya’s have road trips. inko doesn’t have a car so the bakugou’s drive along with them, and it’s a good day. the kids are having fun and getting along, and the parents are chilling and enjoying their vacation. life is good.

then on their drive home, izuku, who is sitting sandwiched between katsuki and inko, lets out this blood-curdling scream. it wakes katsuki up and almost had masaru swerving the car out of the highway.

“maru-san (because my boy izuku cannot say masaru) can you please stop the car! i wanna get that!” he screams, pointing at something indecipherable by the side of the roads.

masaru does anyways because it’s so rare for izuku to request something, but also his heart’s still pumping so fast after izuku’s scream.

masaru wasn’t even done stopping the engine when the car doors are opening, and katsuki and izuku are tumbling out, hand-in-hand. masaru and inko follow them closely, while mitsuki stayed to watch over the car.

katsuki’s excited for an adventure, but then izuku just. stops them. in front of a skull.

masaru chokes from behind them and katsuki lets go of izuku’s hand so fast, running back to his dad because, again, “deku what the shit?”

izuku ignores him and gestures at the deer skull, one that has moss growing by the teeth and around the jaw, turning to inko to ask, “mama? can we bring that home?”

masaru feels very faint, but doesn’t say anything when inko easily agrees, laughing at her boy and patting his untameable hair as if your child asking you for a carcass’s skull is normal.

inko picks it up and they go back to the car. mitsuki does a double-take on what inko’s holding, but shushes up when she saw izuku bouncing happily. katsuki hesitantly sits beside izuku, but when izuku began yammering about all might, he forgets about the skull and nerds out with izuku.

inko explains to mitsuki and masaru about her son’s newfound interest, telling them that it’d go away in two years, don’t worry.

it didn’t. instead, his interest and his collection grew. so for his subsequent birthdays, along with hero merch, he has vulture culture collections gifted to him.

when he moved to the dorms, they’re more packaged than his hero merch and katsuki wants to get angry because he’s been looking for those limited hero merch and yet there they are, chilling beside izuku’s many many skulls and bones.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

IZUKU STARTED COLLECTING THE ALL MIGHT HAWAIIAN SHIRTS WHEN HE WAS TWELVE

he ransacked for the very first edition, often saving his allowance just so he can buy the retro versions of the all might hawaiian shirts. sometimes he’d barter, but that’s only when he’s really desperate for the shirts. usually he’d just be in an auction site and buy just those.

he’d take katsuki with him and katsuki is very careful in what to buy, often researching the things and having a very long pros and cons list to narrow down what he’d buy, then his best bud izuku just out there buying all might hawaiian shirts.

funniest thing too is that those are the first to go because they? don’t value much? and they’re ugly, tbh, and yet izuku’s slurping them all up.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

the first time class 1a were talking about plushies, izuku dropped the names and they’re confused because-

“bro did you name your plushies with lovecraft names?��� OR “bro? do you perhaps have personalized lovecraft toys?”

it’s the earlier one but izuku would want to buy personalized lovecraft monster toys.

ok but? he names them as per the appropriate lovecraft characters? like:

a purple octopus plushie is called azathoth.

a green gecko plushie is called bokrug.

a fish plushie (literally nemo) is called dagon instead of nemo.

a pink jellyfish plushie is mother of pus.

he has other plushies that have normal names (well, as normal as naming a plushie “cheese grater”), but he has a collection of specific plushies that align with lovecraft beings.

he writes all might x reader fanfictions, i’m sorry ;v;

he only writes them because he doesn’t want other heroes with all might, but also the reader pairing gets more views than all might with other heroes.

katsuki caught him writing a slowburn, enemies to lovers all might x reader fanfic and proceeded to proofread it for him.

synopsis of the fanfiction: reader is a villain with a sound quirk (tailored to present mic’s quirk) and all might met them in a hero gala where the reader pretended to be a worker so that they could infiltrate the gala’s holder’s office for a specific banking access that is linked to the world’s bank. all might manages to sniff them out and proceeds to fight them, but when a beam is about to hit the reader, all might swoops in and saves them. cue the reader developing unwanted feelings for their greatest foe, all might.

aND THEN!!! all might knows the reader outside of their villain persona and is actually very much taken by them. so it’s a painful surprise that the reader is a villain. but he is willing to save them.

it is still incomplete despite having 102 chapters. by chapter 78, katsuki asked for payment because shit was too long and too angsty.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

HEISOSL IZUKU HAS A WORM ON A STRING DOOR CURTAIN

he genuinely likes them but creating the door curtain kind of extinguished that interest because that’s just too much worms and too much strings for a single curtain, and it was very much tiring.

he has a tiny one stitched on his blazer and inko heaved this really big sigh when she saw that her son’s crisp UA uniform got a worm by the chest pocket.

aizawa eyed it once and was so close to expelling izuku just because of that.

shouto, when they became friends, sends a box of them to izuku because he thought that those are izuku’s favourite. katsuki had not stopped cackling when he saw the huge box of them.

to punish katsuki, he made a furby with worm hair and left it by katsuki’s door. katsuki’s scream woke everyone up.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

the moment he walked out with a plague mask, tokoyami was exiting his dorm room too and they made a long eye contact.

tokoyami does not know if he is amazed by izuku’s plague mask or he is terrified because why does it look authentic.

for halloween, he was a plague doctor.

he stowed them away after saving eri.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

his first women hero cosplay was in third grade when they had a play about different heroes. the girl who was playing ragdoll got sick and everyone’s already strapped in as their hero and unwilling to change. izuku, himself, is present mic (katsuki’s all might).

the girls don’t want to give up their heroes and izuku, the bestest boy, goes and says he will become ragdoll.

their teacher agrees and helps him strap in as ragdoll and you know what, izuku loves it.

from then on, he tries to cosplay as much women heroes that he can afford. inko loves helping him and katsuki thinks he is adorable but! dont tell deku!!!

OK BUT he wore the dress that broke the internet once and katsuki almost exploded the dress off him. almost because izuku dodged and warned him that if he ever breaks that dress, katsuki will have to pay (either monetary or revenge, katsuki doesn’t know so he behaved).

FOR HALLOWEEN, HE WORE THIS AND KATSUKI HATES IT

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

izuku painting star freckles on his face!!!! or heart freckles!!!! or flowers!!!!

izuku in fairy makeup, pleaseee!

he also loves giving katsuki his own freckles because something about blonde hair and red eyes with pale cheeks kissed by freckles is making izuku gay panic.

izuku putting concealer on his own freckles once and his classmates are looking at him weirdly, wondering why he looks off?

like he still looks amazing, but something’s missing. it’s fucking them up and katsuki isn’t helping them so they’re trying to piece what’s up.

it takes monoma sneering at izuku and asking where his eight freckles are that 1a realizes why he looks different.

ok but denki asking monoma why he knows how much freckles izuku has and monoma spluttering, bright red and embarrassed, until he just walks away.

(answer: he’s crushing on green bean).

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

IZUKU HAVING A COLLECTION OF LIKE ARCHAIC? BREWING? STUFF? BOOKS.

i dont know how to explain it but my friend has this specific book about poisons, detailing recipes and ingredients.

it also talks about the use of frogs, lizards, snakes. the benefits of different flowers (ones with toxins) and how to use them during tea time.

it’s bizarre but the book looks pretty so i think izuku would have a handful of those in his room.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

izuku eating grass? flowers? trying dandelions and complaining that it’s furry

izuku wandering what a twig tastes like so he just sucks on it like a lollipop.

inko gave up on stopping him because her son would just eat anything but his broccolis, and she’s very much tired of thinking if izuku would have an upset stomach. he never had.

first time mitsuki saw izuku do that, she forced him to drink cola and eat candy to cleanse his palette.

katsuki goads him on eating more.

izuku’s favourite is chewing on maple leaves. he’s just a weird boy.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

OK BUT THE FINAL ONE ABOUT HIS ALL MIGHT POSTERS?? I HAVENT STOPPED LAUGHINGF

izuku wanting more all might figurines than posters. he only has some chemistry stuff (periodic table) on his wall, a little tapestry that matches inko’s, a canvas of monet’s water lilies (again, matching inko), and some cosmic facts that he bought online.

and yk katsuki sees those and thinks that it’s so weird that izuku has those posters but not all might?

his first thought was, “he doesn’t like all might as much as i do.”

the following one is, “he’s straight so he doesn’t want a guy’s face on his wall.”

katsuki’s mouth so happens to say the second one and the next week he visited izuku’s room again, each surface of the wall that is not taken by pinned insects and his frog-book stuff, plus his other existing non-hero posters, is covered in just all might posters.

he belatedly realizes that his own face is also on izuku’s wall, but that’s for later musings because for now he’s jealous that izuku managed to scourge the limited all might posters, but also is disgusted a bit because that’s too much all might.

katsuki walks out before his interest in all might plummets.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

ps to my beloved: ﹤୨♡୧﹥

GOBLIN I LOVE YOUR AUS ALL THE TIME AND IM SORRY FOR RESPONDING SO LATE! YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME SMILE AND I LOVE U!!!! you’re genuinely so precious pls dont stop your ramblings!!!!

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[sepublic]

Really Small Problems!

           Honestly, the jokes in this episode were superb- I loved the carnival and all of its neat little gags, from the Molar-Coaster, to the Rotten Apples, and so forth! Also it’s hilarious how the Fun Police are literal clowns, but that’s one of the more obvious gags! I noticed that the Oracle Teacher (whom I will call Diana because she gives me those vibes) had a male voice in her brief appearance, but it doesn’t matter!

           This was frankly another great episode! I’m glad the show gave us another interaction we hadn’t explored yet- King meeting Willow and Gus! It was SO adorable seeing Luz and King’s friendship, I touched on it a while back but it’s one of the best things this show has to offer, it’s just so pure because you can tell that King has never had someone who would childish indulge with him in all of his little games and jokes, and just have simple fun! Mind you, Eda is there and HER friendship with King is also great, but I think there’s a certain level of understanding that King and Luz now have that’s special to them, too!

           In general, I like that they touch upon small things that only King may notice (fitting given how his issue was not being noticed, as if he was too small), and I have to wonder if him hitching a ride in The First Day was him partially missing Luz… Obviously the snacks are an incentive, but I can see him going to Hexside so he can visit in case he suddenly feels lonely! D’aww… He was like a puppy when he wasn’t sure she’d come back!

           Willow and Gus were also neat this episode, and I love how Gus confirms he has puberty going on- It seems like a meta discussion at his VA’s age (15!) and also his voice changing a bit in the previous episode! Willow was also interesting… Sweet as always, of course, but it’s a bit fascinating and terrifying to see her just summon magic like THAT, no spells and all! Coupled with her glowing green eyes, which are also associated with another powerful figure, Emperor Belos, and I have to wonder… Also I’m surprised that Willow and Gus even remembered Tibbles, and vice-versa! Granted there was social media for Tibbles to learn through, and I can see Eda and King having relayed the story through Luz!

           And Luz! I love this adorable, dumb little dork! Her following the cotton candy trail and all of those AU looks for her in the Hall of Mirrors, including an anime and werewolf version, that’ll be fun! She’s such a kind and sweet person- What else is there to say!

           (Also, fun detail about Boscha having a pet pixie that led to the infestation at Hexside- This school just keeps getting into trouble and it’s really surprising to see Luz wasn’t involved this time! I can only imagine what adventure could’ve happened there!)

           The Obvioso gag was hilarious with Tibbles and well pulled-off, I like its execution- Not gonna lie, I WAS a bit confused because the Witch’s Apprentice game listed his alias as Mysterioso, but what we actually got was funnier. THAT app had already made a mistake by using a different whistle for the one given by the Bat Queen, so I can’t be all too surprised!

           And King! Honestly he was SO mature in this episode, you can tell his character development stuck around from earlier! I was a bit worried he would be super-selfish here, and he still WAS doing things in his own interest… But the way it was set up, I can understand his mistakes? He misses Luz, he’s not used to having someone humor him, and Willow and Gus fell into the same trap of seeing him as cute without listening- And yeah, so did Luz, but Luz always got around… My point is, Willow and Gus never had the chance to prove themselves as friends to King and vice-versa!

           So he gets the mysterious potion- He doesn’t buy, it’s just given to King! He’s rightfully horrified at the thought of making them disappear (even if it’s only temporary and reversible whenever he wants), and it only happens by sheer accident! It’s still wrong of King to not immediately try to bring Willow and Gus back, but the whole situation is a lot more understandable- And seeing him willing to SACRIFICE himself for Luz and the others, after all their time together? Just… UGH their bond! The friendship! KING is willing to die for Luz at this point, this says so much and now he’s being friends with Willow and Gus too! Also I like his way of getting the group back to normal, that was pretty clever!

           The gags with flies were hilarious in this episode (Luz snorting one, Hooty eating his friend, Gus being horrified at its hairiness), and I love how Eda was legitimately angered when she realized Luz and King were captured (and Willow and Gus too I guess)! If she didn’t already have those candied apples, I could’ve seen her doing something MUCH worse to Tibbles… But as is, the dude has canonically had his livelihood ruined twice and disgraced the family name, and is probably going to get half-eaten! AND, Eda also gets all of his snails- I’d say that’s the karmic retribution I was waiting for back in Episode 6! Good for Eda…!

           All in all, this was a GREAT episode! Genuinely funny and charming as always, King’s character was well-done and the relationship between him and Luz was so PRECIOUS… I know this episode will be largely ignored in favor of Understanding Willow, and I can see why… But come on guys, don’t forget about King too! He IS one of the main cast members after all…

           Anyhow- Onto Understanding Willow from here!

           (Quick note- That Fun Police Chief is a DEMON?! And Tibbles is confirmed to be a Witch, I’ve got a LOT of questions now about Demons and if there are any differentiation between them and Witches at this point, Dana PLEASE answer me!)

[shyrose57]

3: Over time people have found a way to make potions last longer, but theres also a way to make them permanent until a different potion counteracts it, but its very hard to do this and most people die trying to do it because the potion gets highly unstable that even a simple tap can make the potion explode. Raq knew how to make a potion permanent, so after managing to successfully make a permanent one, he just had to throw it on Ran and wait until he was left alone to get him. 

4: The fishermen have made a pretty soild plan to follow when this reaction to touch is suspected to be happening. First they of course ask him if touch is ok, and if he says no then they just stay by and give him a blanket. If he cant/doesn't respond then they decide to not touch him incase it causes a bad reaction. And still remain nearby, but they also attempt to comfort him more directly by sitting as close as possible and repeating comforting words and sentences to him. 

10: Oh definitely, in fact the fact that Ran is blind almost starts a fight when Asidi reaches to grab Ran and Grievous gets in the way, yelling at him to back off. Which gets not only Asidi mad but also makes Ran afraid. Which just ramps up the tension ten fold. To the point there may be a full out fist fight, until Lucia thankfully notices Rans predicament and manages to get them inside for the antidote, with Siren stepping up to talk to Asidi. A antidote for a permanent blindness potion would consist of a mix of water and milk, a fermented spider eye to temporarily weaken his immune systems so the antidote can get fully in, a Ghast tear (regeneration so slowly allow the sight back as to not overwhelm the person), and a golden carrot (its a vision based ingredient in general), and glistening  melon (healing to help push the blindness out while also just numbing the person in general). Then a day later or when signs start to show of the vision coming back, a potion of strength to help the immune system strengthen back up and help get the last bit of the blindness potion out hopefully. Most potions do have a counter potion, but it's only the really complex or permanent potions that have a deemed antidote (difference is the counter is just 1 potion and 1 or 2 ingredients. A antidote is a mix of multiple different potions and ingredients making it more complex). It takes Ran longer than he'd like to admit to get used to it again, he has to do small practices like walking around or running around a room, picking up a pencil and writing, just doing simple hand eye coordination exercises to get used to sight again. But at first when his sight starts to slowly come back he starts to relax a bit more, he's still scared and clings to someone until its almost fully back though. And then he just starts having Watson or Benjamin around to help him get used to it again. He is deeply embarrassed when he learns how he acted when he was blind, and it takes a while for him to regain his confidence/get used to the idea that everyone saw him like that. But they help him feel better by telling embarrassing stories about themselves so he doesnt feel like he's alone and the gladiators have a one on one session with him saying how their proud of him and feel like their closer now, to which Ran does agree. And when it comes to Ranbob, the two aren't super close yet, but close enough they can be close toghere and alone toghere without anything happening. So when Ran learns Ranbob was the only one able to truly comfort him, he isnt super happy, but is almost like satisfied or content. He doesn't mind and it even gets him thinking a bit. 

12: That was funnier to me than it should've been

13: You didn't do anything we just love to cause chaos when given the chance. And I did tell them that and they were very happy and just said "Ima Little gremlin 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈" then disappeared for the rest of the day. 

14: All of the above. But mostly because of curiosity. The idea that theres a immortal god just out there is incredibly fascinating to them and Jackie especially really wants to meet him. Watson and the fishermen are more hesitant to the thought of meeting Foolish. Mostly because he is a god that could easily kill them, and maybe trespassing onto his property isn't the best idea? But Jackie isnt taking no for an answer and he will forcefully drag everyone with him. They wouldn't know but you did give me a idea of what if Raq has a totem and when Raq blinds Ran they think that they killed Raq, but instead he slips away. And no one notices til its to late.

15: Oh yes, Edward is mid telling of how Ranboo was always so socially shy and tried his best to seem invisible, as Ran and Ranbob throw snowballs and agure in the background. And Edward is telling of how Ranboo was so scared of destroying Technoblades property as he was scared he'd get kicked out as Ran and Jackie are just hasitly digging up the ground in the background in a race. He does also tell them how much Ranboo used to go mining for fun, so often he went mining that he actually became the richest person in the SMP and beyond all because he was bored. While on the way there Cletus and Isaac where complaining about how much they had to mine just to get a few bits of iron. Edward also shared how little Ranboo knew of his enderman side and how he suffered because of it, making the brothers thankful that they had a enderman hybrid mom, and even teachers who took time to teach them about their enderman side and how to please it and its limits. It also gets embarrassing when Edward asks for stories about Ran and Ranbob. Especially when Watson jumps up to tell an embarrassing story about Ran. Even the brothers get in on it and share stories about Mizu. Jackie, Isaac, Charles, and Ranbob all sit around Edward when its time to tell stories about the SMP. And Edward has actually started private lessons with the brothers to teach them the enderian language after he finds out their enderian is extremely rusty and out of date. 

Also I wanted to include this in my timeline submission but I forgot to so have it here. Although I said I want this to be a primarily Tales focused au I just can't help but imagine Phil, Karl, Ranboo, Tubbo, Techno (plus maybe Quackity, Bad, and Sapnap) being sucked into the future by a failure from Karls watch and them having to work with the gladiator and fishermen groups to find their way home. But that would probably be another au.

3: Oh, interesting. So Raq managed to corner Ran? How did he do that? How did everyone feel about them getting split off from Ran only to find him blind and terrified?

4: That sounds really nice of them, actually. I’m glad he’s got a good support system. If the gladiators ever had to deal with it themselves(maybe the Fishermen got temporarily separated, or something), how would they go about it, and how would they fare?

10: Aww, they’re protective of him. Good, he needs someone to be! It’s for the best that fight never really started, that definitely would have made things a lot worse, huh? Antidotes sound really interesting, honestly. Definitely off track of your AU, but if you ever have the time, what kind of antidotes would your world building use for other potions, and which potions could be made permanent? Very glad he gets his sight back though. He’s content with it? Curious, curious.

12: I’ll do it, don’t make me!

13: Yeah, that fits the bill alright. They are a gremlin, and it’s good that they’ve acknowledged that. Also, you saying they just disappeared for the rest of the day makes it sound like they just poofed out of thin air until midnight for feeding time. 

14: Jackie wants to see god, and so he will. Maybe fight him too, but that’s up for debate. And also ‘until it’s too late’? Anon, what happens? What’s Raq gonna do? Which of the poor children are gonna suffer from this?

15: FGHJK-

Edward: Ah, yes. That Ranboo. So polite and well-mannered. 

His descendants: *screaming in the background*

Edward: So, so well-mannered. 

Also, I want funny stories about Ranbob and Ran. Can I have funny stories about them? Please, Anon?

Them ending up in the future actually sounds pretty interesting, especially considering the group and who they end up with. Honestly, if you’re up for talking, I’d love to hear about it. Maybe you could make it like a spin-off from this AU, or something? Not canon, but a fun idea? I think, I’m not entirely sure how spin-offs work, if I’m being honest.

[rabble-dabble]

AU where Bec Noir was never created and, as such, Karkat was able to become a dictator over the human universe like he originally intended. John and friends eventually arise as the Chosen Heroes meant to overthrow him. Cue slowburn Enemies to Lovers. ~ Evil!John Anon

Okay I’m in love with this idea. I wanna think that they only let Karkat “have” the title because he would keep bitchin’ about it until they gave it. I’m just crying because he has a useless title (because like, I’d imagine while they’d obviously rule their universe some of them like Feferi, Terezi, Nepeta, Tavros and maybe Aradia would be like “Oh we’re gonna rule them NICELY while the other half are like “BUT I WANNA GO APESHIT” and they’d come to like, deciding it’s a council thing) and it’s just. Everybody knows and so does he but he’s happy cuz he can flaunt it. I’m also wondering how long they’ve actually resided on Earth (and dear lord probably renamed it so something completely stupid like Alternia B) and if there are more god tiers or not??? Idk I’m just thinking, like it’d be really funny if the trolls only showed up recently and now humans gotta learn all this troll culture (or maybe if they had some of it before). I’d imagine it’d be like a few generations of them being around and human’s are missing the good ol’ times, there isn’t quite a troll population yet because Kanaya’s having some difficulties with handling the matriorb by herself and Karkat is DEFINITELY not letting anyone near the biology shit yet because he does NOT want to deal with that.

I think it’d be like a big rebellion thing alongside the “Chosen Heroes” thing - like how the Signless was a thing on Alternia and his prediction for his descendant - and so the beta gang is like trained up and brought up secretly while learning about human and troll life. I don’t imagine TOO much changed (or at least not altered yet) except that there are Gods now and they are in charge of pretty much Everything and you have No say in it thank you. 

When Karkat and John do meet maybe it’s when like an uprising attempts to happen or something, and they’re in a battle and the rebellion is retreating because Oh Fuck you just decided to fight against some Gods you dipshits and you are Not Prepared for the level of troll power the Gods have against you. 

in which John can immediately smell out Karkat’s inane bullshit towards wanting to be a merciless God against humans (or he is bullshitting his words so he doesn’t die and I think this possibility is funnier). 

And Karkat would fucking think about that human, and hear about little uprisings here and there and find out that this human is nearly almost always in one. Maybe they meet again once or twice and find out a little more about each other before they have to retreat back towards their respective places but Karkat definitely wouldn’t think about John at all. 

And maybe some of the other Gods aren’t too worried?? Or they don’t care lmao. I’d be like a new topic of interest after a long time for them and some of them *cough youknowwho cough* would be excited about it or worried while the others are like “To be fair, we DID suddenly show up out of the blue.” 

But there’d definitely be some drama to this. Karkat’s as hidden as his text colour hides his blood so it’d be apparent to some trolls about his feelings towards the matter - and who is influencing his feelings. 

Oooo you know what’d be a good idea?? As this rebellion thing grows it’s becoming more apparent that the Gods have to intervene and fight for the power that they think is rightfully theirs, and maybe there are some battles brought to them by the rebellion and the beta gang and so fights between humans and Gods start. Not all of them, as some are neutral or against it, but they’re definitely being targeted no matter what. Maybe one time the beta gang decides to stupidly fight against a god they thought they could take down (maybe Vriska and she’s like FINALLY!! OUR BATTLE IS GONNA SHOW HOW MUCH I CAN KICK YOUR ASSES) and John almost dies but Karkat intervenes to the shock and dismay of no one so now he runs away with John to join the rebellion in a more direct way, effectively putting him against his friends. 

And ofc no one trusts this God and no one trusts he isn’t trying to just throw them off or take ‘em out from the inside or he won’t turn on them, but John is just like “I almost died and he definitely saved me!” so it’s like a “you’re on thin ice” situation. 

But Karkat and John grow closer as time grows, with Karkat missing his friends but still supporting what the rebellion thinks now that he hears how John and other humans grew up, how they all lost someone important to them, how hard they’ve been working with the idea of living in a normal human world again (and John and a few others think maybe the trolls can join them with nonunderstood hopefulness). 

(bold of you to assume I would not bring up the star reference except its really romantic this time)

Ik you said slowburn but I can only go “moderately spaced” in terms of what happens in plot and romance alongside it. I don’t really have any sort of ending idea (or really any more idea of how to get from plot a to be - I’d imagine that the rebellion thing turns out successful or something and everyone lives happier ever after) so if you want more send just send me an ask!! I had fun with this and I’m in love with this. so much. god this is wonderful

[ashenberry]

I gotta know your opinion on 6-5 (for obvious reasons ;))

TURNABOUT REVOLUTION and absolute BEAST of a case (it’s two in a trenchcoat)

man. Where to start. ok first of all I think ima tackle it through the characters instead of these little case summaries I’ve been doing cause. Beast of a case. anyhoo

Apollo

as whats framed as Apollo finally becoming his own as a lawyer and the resolution of a three game arc. I like the idea of it being up against Phoenix. A lot in fact I love the civil trial and Athena and Apollo get to burn evidence heheheue but. god does it lack buildup. and it takes a lot of the punch out of it. As for Apollo in the criminal trial half of revolution you go little man ❤️ I also love Apollo and dhurkes relationship holy shit. Dhurke I’ve only truly known you for 5 minutes but GOD. they’ve got such a great dynamic and god the afternoon they spend in kurahin it’s.

Most faults I have with dhurke I find to be more of a problem I have with sojs writing than anything I felt the character is if that makes sense? Like that one comment about Apollo n Trucy and an issue I’ve seen people have that dhurke sent Apollo to the states but Nahyuta more just coming out from the fact that the writers are bending backwards here. I also love datz here datz my man truly one of the characters of all time I wish you got a better name buddy. datz

Phoenix

its. 3D games Phoenix. he’s there. I think I enjoyed him more as the opposition than as a playable characters in this case opposition Phoenix was fun! he was a bit of an ass but it isn’t passive agressive and he’s fuckin losing! When we are playing as Phoenix he’s screwing Apollo over in what seems like ignorance and it’s irratating And during the second revolution trial he’s just making one liners. also sorry Maya they’re retreading your farewell arc ❤️ I actually didn’t mind it it works out pretty well ^-^

Dhurke

ok I touched on dhurke a little on the Apollo section but man. I love dhurke. the twist that he was dead the whole time because he fell into the Defense Attorney Trap (in which every defense attorney shows the big bad that they have evidence they’re the big bad. Unfortunately for dhurke this time they had a gun) Is Really interesting and he’s just one of the stronger characters in this case

Nahyuta

WOOOO NAHYUTA GOT SIDELINED IN THIS CASE HAHAHA there is a connection between how much Nahyuta is allowed to talk in a case and how enjoyable it is MAN. I skipped over his confession to the murder I don’t know if there’s like. Life changing dialogue there but man. I think there had to be a stronger Nahyuta apollo connection in this game like really. like the line that apollo has a dragon and Phoenix burning inside of him good shit good shit. I do think Nahyuta can be salvaged as a character but it did not happen in this case that was a half assed redemption.

Rafya

GOD POOR RAYFA SHE she is going through it in this case her dad is dead and her mom is a bitch rayfa 🤝 apollo solving the truth during the rest of the game shes just a middle schooler with the hubris of a monarch and it’s great and you just see it all fall apart in this case rayfa 💔

Garan, Inga, and Amara

garana a shit monarch AND a shit mom unbelievable. I don’t know how much a prosecutor that can say they win at anytime really effects the stakes it’s just a general soj problem the stakes are too high so theres like no tension in that regard and your more just curious how the murder happened. Inga is just a mob boss (got the accent to back it too) but goddamit he’s better than garan in the sense that he’s shown to have loved rayfa. man. Amara. There’s a character thread there that I don’t think at all was intentional because I don’t have that much respect for sojs writers where I don’t think Amara ever wanted to rule. There’s a lot of moments where revealing she was alive would have prevented a lot of shit (tho. evil sister not the easiest) but also the fact that rayfa is the one to take over at the end. a lot of it can be hand waved as like monarchy semantics but I think reading is cooler so

Rest of WAA + edgeworth

hhhh I think they deserved better in the rest of the game but here in revolution I think they all had good roles. Trucy gets the best joke in the case. Edgeworth is used for his private jets. it’s all good this case really is more about Apollo.

Obligatory Jove ‘Jangly’ Justice because I have a brand to keep up with

EVERYTHING SURRONDING THIS MAN IS HILARIOUS JESUS CHRIST. FIRST OF ALL. HIS DESIGN WAS DEFINITLY LAST MINUTE DONE IN A WEEK THIS MAN RECIEVED NO LOVE FROM THE DEVS. SECOND OF ALL HE SOMEHOW GOT INVITED TO THE ROYALTIES HOUSE WHILE ON BABY DUTY? AND HE INTRODUCED HIS BABY BY HIS FULL NAME CAUSE HOW ELSE WOULD DHURKE KNOW APOLLOS NAME UNLESS JOVE HAD APOLLOS BRITH CERTIFICATE ON HIM WHICH IS A FUCKING POSSIBILITY CAUSE I THINK ITS GENERALLY WAVED AT THAT APOLLO WAS SENT TO THE STATES BECAUSE IT WAS EASIER DUE TO POSSIBLE CITIZENSHIP THAT MAY HAVE BEEN THE ONLY PROOF AND THAN THIS MAN IS THE ONLY MAN TO FUCKIN DIE IN A POLITICALLY MOTIVATED ARSON WHERE EVEN THE INFANT LIVED AND GUESS WHOS THE ONLY PERSON IN THE POSITION TO SAVE BABY APOLLO. THATS RIGHT GARAN. APOLLO SIGITAR AU BABY. AND THEN NOBODY CAN ID JOVE AND THIS LEADS TO LIKE 20 YEARS OF A MASS LAWYER KILLING. JOVE JANGLY JUSTICE WAS THE START OF IT ALL. HIS NEWELY WIDOWED WIFE GOES ON TO BECOME THE BEYONCÉ OF BORGINIA.

^some of thats probably inaccurate. mostly about Apollo having proof of us citizenship but like. is there anyway for Apollo to get that information later or it’s kinda like he never existed because I doubt Newley enemy of the state dhurke got him any kurahin legal papers i don’t know I’m not a lawyer. But it’s funnier to imagine that Jove did have all of Apollos information on him that survived the fire.

anywyas all and all turnabout revolution is a very fun cass but I would trade it in a heartbeat to never have Soj ❤️

[timeisacephalopod]

Playlist

I figured I’d write more of the YouTube AU with Peter/Stephen/Tony. Honestly, I should do some kind of other AU with them but for now we discuss Peter’s playlists lol.

“Wong has abandoned me,” Stephen says dramatically. Tony and Peter don’t even react because Wong would never abandon Stephen but he seems to think they should be a lot more invested. “Did you two not hear me?” he asks and Peter bites the bullet, sighing.

“We heard you, but we think you’re being dramatic,” he says. How nice of him to take one for the team like that.

Given how offended Stephen looks he’s probably going to regret that. “You think being upset about being abandoned is dramatics?” he asks in a haughty tone.

“Considering you decided Tony being on a business trip and me sleeping was you being abandoned, yeah,” Peter tells him.

Tony probably shouldn’t risk laughing but that’s too good not to laugh at.

*

“I love when people know shit-”

“Yes, me too but it happens so rarely,” Stephen says, cutting Peter off.

Peter sighs. “As I was saying I love when people know shit about the development of a project because this random person tweeted ‘the best thing about going to see Consuming Fire is that you know at one point it was a monster fucking movie’ and that’s hilarious,” he says.

God, yeah. And Peter fought about it for awhile too, which resulted in him nearly getting fired twice until Stephen had made a casual comment about making one of the characters a musician. With an in like that Peter had had a much less difficult time writing something that wasn’t total garbage, even if it was straight people. Then came the fight to cast Kamala and mini Peter in the roles, which resulted in a bunch more rewrites, but the interest generated from his casting choices alone seemed to appease pissy studios and audiences alike so.

“Imagine if Kamala was the fish man from The Shape of Water,” Stephen says, shaking his head. “Absolutely awful. Unpopular opinion, that movie was awful,” he adds.

“You have no taste,” Peter tells him.

“I thought the fish man was romantic,” Tony says and Stephen wrinkles his nose.

“White people are monster fuckers,” he mumbles. “Something went wrong in Europe.”

Peter starts laughing and Tony sighs, “dude, Sam dresses up as a furry on a regular basis. This isn’t just a caucasian problem- every race of human is into some weird shit.”

Stephen shakes his head, “Sam is an exception and should not be counted and when did he decide he was a furry?” he asks, frowning.

“Dude dresses up like a bird all the time,” Peter points out. “Calls his alter ego Falcon and he doesn’t even fucking dress up as a falcon.”

“He should dress up as a great tit,” Tony says and Stephen looks like his soul has died a little.

“We’re not talking about furries or monster fuckers anymore. We’re talking about Peter’s strange ability to make a playlist for every possible situation,” Stephen says. “Shall we go through the stranger ones?”

He pulls Peter’s phone out of his pocket and Tony snatches it, scrolling through the absurd amount of playlists. “Oh here’s one. ‘That feeling you get when you fuck at three a.m but actually you want to die.’ I don’t know what that means.”

Stephen pulls the phone back and starts scrolling. “Oh lovely- ‘for when you’re in Medicine Hat, Canada and the Tim Hortons is being held up.’ Are these built on personal experience?” he asks, squinting.

Tony takes the phone back and scrolls a little before sighing. “Seriously? ‘The feeling you get when you look at Tony Stark’s ass’? Is that a real thing?”

Stephen takes the phone back and laughs, “it was made three years before he met you,” he says. “That’s funnier.”

Peter snatches his phone. “I don’t even know how you two got that,” he mumbles. “And by the way- okay you know what, I will give you ‘Frankenstein vore playlist’ because I don’t even know what that means,” he says.

Stephen pulls a list from his pocket, “I’ve made a list of the strangest playlists though I did manage to somehow miss that one,” he says, wrinkling his nose at Peter. Tony leans over to look at the list and snorts at what he finds there. Honestly only Peter would have a playlist dedicated to making egg salad in someone else’s kitchen while you rob them.

“You have an ‘evacuate the building in case of fire’ playlist. No one will be listening to these, they’ll be exiting the damn building,” Tony says.

“Wedding in a classroom in rural Alaska- why is that a playlist?” Stephen asks.

“You went with that over ‘tickle my ass with a feather’ playlist?” Tony asks, giving Stephen a judgmental look.

“That one’s for Rocket,” Peter says, giving them more information than they wanted, Tony is sure.

“Got my ass kicked by a ballerina with teeth for a face- what? What does that mean, Peter?” Tony asks, baffled.

“What’s on the tin- it literally says it all in the title.”

Stephen rubs his temple and sighs. “Accidentally laughed at a funeral?” he asks.

Peter shrugs, “its been known to happen.” Even Stephen, the most cold hearted person Tony knows, clearly thinks that’s a dick move.

“Got caught in a government scandal?” Tony asks. “You don’t even understand politics.”

“Its worse because he has political opinions,” Stephen mumbles.

“Oh like that makes me any different than politicians,” Peter says and just because he’s right doesn't mean he should be.

“CIA mind control playlist?” Stephen asks.

“Are we going to read these all day, I feel like we’ve got better content than this,” Peter says.

Stephen squints at his list, “workplace serial killer playlist? I get work place shooter because that happens. I get disgruntled employee because that happens. I get serial killer because those are a thing. But in what world does a person have a problem with a work place serial killer?” he asks in a haughty tone.

“Well when you say it like that it sounds ridiculous,” Peter mumbles.

He gets a look from Stephen for that, “it sounded ridiculous the whole time. Like your damn monster fucking romcom.”

“It could have worked, we have vampire shows,” Peter points out.

Tony rolls his eyes, “that’s not monster fucking, that’s a cop out. You better be fucking something only vaguely human looking or you’re a pussy.”

“Structurally speaking female genitalia is the superior design, I don’t know why we use those as an insult. We should be calling people gonads on account of the poor design choices evolution made there. Or backs. The spine is basically a pixie stick holding up your meat sack- its an insult to biological architecture,” he says like that’s a phrase anyone but him has thought up.

Peter starts laughing and Tony decides to call it a day because there’s no coming back from that.

*

“So people have been writing meta on why our dynamic is so watchable,” Peter says, “and I honestly never thought I’d hear the phrase ‘Tony Stark is the straight man’ but here we are.”

Tony frowns, “I’m bisexual,” he says. How is it possible to fuck two whole assed dudes and still end up being called straight? Though there are those conspiracies about him being brainwashed and held captive because that’s the gay agenda these days, he guesses.

Stephen lets out a long sigh but Peter explains. “Its not a sexuality thing, its a comedy thing. There are the nutty characters and then the normal one who grounds them all- the straight man. You’re the one who grounds me and Stephen,” he says.

Tony squints, “cite your sources,” he tells Peter. Pepper is the straight man normally. Rhodey, he might be straight man passing if he didn’t always go along with Tony’s dumb plans. Pepper though, she lives and breathes common sense and forces him and Rhodey to also live and breathe common sense. Tony can’t imagine how he’s the straight man.

Peter nods, “yeah, so normally that’s not what the fuck you’d be on account of being a quirky billionaire genius who casually blows shit up on such a regular basis that its normal to you. But you hang out with a man who once faked a haunting to get rid of a roommate, casually refers to his coworkers killing people and how it inconveniences him because of hour cutbacks, and is sometimes actually magical. Couple that with your other partner in crime, me, who got into a several months long fight with a studio over whether or not I can make a monster fucking movie because I can’t write straight people, who got famous after writing a sci-fi musical space opera about his daddy issues, has a playlist for being murdered by sheep, and literally has a friend named ‘Rocket Racoon’ and your shit is no longer weird. You are the straight man only because the two people you’re with are so weird that your weird no longer looks weird in comparison,” Peter says.

They all sit on that for a long moment before Tony crosses his arms and glares straight ahead. “I don’t want to be the straight man,” he mumbles.

Stephen pulls a handkerchief seemingly out of nowhere and throws it at him. “Go cry me a river,” he says.

He picks up the handkerchief and frowns. “This is monogramed. And where wee you hiding it?”

*

Wong scrolls through the comments nodding to himself. “My favorite thing about these videos is my strange but adorable cult following,” he says.

Yeah, Wong is kind of a series regular but people have grown to like him with a surprising amount of enthusiasm. Stephen, however, looks irritated with this. “They have poor taste,” he mumbles.

Peter pets his head, earning a dirty look for his efforts. “Don’t worry, only about half the audience hates you now,” he chirps in an overly cheerful tone.

“Half the audience needs standards,” Wong murmurs, taking a sip of Stephen’s coffee.

Stephen pulls his cup back, “yes, half the audience needs to grow up and come to the conclusion that I’m far superior to Peter,” he says. “And on par with Tony, I suppose,” he adds.

Wong takes the coffee back, “that wasn’t that half of the audience I was referring to, Stephen, and we both know that. And Peter is superior to you on account of having a personality that isn’t the equivalent of sand paper on the senses.”

“I have a playlist for that too,” Peter says, grinning.

Tony rolls his eyes, “you have a playlist for drowning in quicksand in the middle of a forest on a planet in another solar system. We fucking know you have a playlist for it,” he says.

“Have a playlist for when your irritating best friend all but forces you to pick up his questionable boxers in the morning and you feel a little bit of your soul slip into another dimension?” Wong asks and Peter frowns.

“I uh... no, I don’t,” he says, looking lost and confused.

[misslilidelaney]

MASHUP! AU

Okay guys, bare with me because I am going on a writing spree and I don't even know when and where I'll be able to write something but I had the weirdest idea for a tree-way-fandom-uber-mashup-universe.

It all started with a convo with my dearest @marriedwithjosh , sharing a picture of a purple and a pink bikes, saying "I did not know Virgil and Wilford went to the University in Padova". And my lovliest @shetanibonaparte added "HC that in his basket, Wilford always have sweets for Dark, the rich student who goes to school with a retro fancy car". And that was the beginning. My mind began to race and I came up with this silly idea, which I have the time nor patience to purse.

So I'll give it to you, Tumblr, please use it well, if you want.

-The whole thing takes place in a Campus or something like that.

- Wilford Warfstache and Dark met on a day when Wil was, as always late for school. Like the best anime tropes, he has a toast in his mouth and is crying: "IMLATEIMLATEIMLATE!". A bunch of meters before the school, he is so distracted he bumps into a parked black old style Cadillac, and rumbles ungracefully on the floor, his pink bike completely destroyed. When he raises his head, the world around him stops. The driver opens the door and a magnificent specimen comes out. Black, soft hair, a chiseled chin, eyes as black as the void. "You better watch where you go." says the most soothing voice ever. The sublime vision doesn't even look at him, and enters the school. Later that day Wilford will learn that the mysterious stranger is none other than Drake "Dark" Iplier, son of the world wide famous Doctor Edoardo Iplier, and he and his brother joined the school late because they were abroad. The following day, on the spot where he used to park his bike, Wil will find a brand new pink bike, with a note: "Seriously, watch where you go." With that, he is totally in love with Dark.

- Virgil met Roman a couple of weeks later. He was on his bike to school perfectly on time, but worried nonetheless because, well, He's Virgil "Anxiety" Warfstache, and he worries always. For everything. He was so much busy being worried he almost didn't see the red and golden skateboard crossing his street. Yet, he managed to stop his lovely purple bike in time, and at the same time, trap the skateboard under one of its wheels. "Oh, hey! Thank you!" Shouted the owner of the board, and as soon as he removed his headphones and turns to the voice, he knew he is doomed. In front of him was Roman "Princey" Iplier, newcomer of the school and twin brother of the infamous "Darkiplier" to which his younger brother Wilford would NOT stop talking about. He was expecting the same cold, calcutating behavior, but the young man in front of him was the sweetest thing, worried about his welbeing, if the skateboard ruined his bike, and then asking immediately Virgil out to "excuse myself and thank you for saving my board". Virgil almost said yes, but there's something about the fact that Roman is SO SURE than he'll agree that pushed Virgil to smirk and say "Thanks but no thanks." And hops again on his bike, reaching the school. From that moment, Roman tries to have a date with Virgil on a everyday basis, to which Virgil despite being head over heels for the rich boy, always says no, just because he can.

-Wilford has two best friends to which he confides continuosly: 1) Sean "Anti" Brody, the school token rebel punk, always in the deepest of shit, always breaking stuff and always hurting himself during his outbursts of rage. Only Patton and Wilford know that he is constantly trying to hurt himself just to have the excuse to hang in the infermery, where the "So Fucking Sexy I could die" Doctor Henrik Von Schneeplestein, which actually likes the boy back but keeps their relationship a secret because he doesn’t want to risk his carreer. 2) Patton Sanders, the sweetest puffball ever. Except when it comes to HIS Professor Logan Sanders "We even have the same last name! Our marriage is meant to be, Wil, I swear!". When someone is too close to the amazing professor, that someone usually ends up very badly accidentaly injuired, with Anti, Wil and Pat always grinning in the distance. Nobody will touch his Professor. And his friends are happy to help him.

- Virgil groups with two of the Outsiders of the school, which to him are pretty cool people. 1) Jameson "J.J." Jackson, a dapper boi with a heart of gold. Always dressing as if he was the past, has a little, totally useless eyeglass, and is actually mute. He can hear perfectly but he cannot speak, so he and Virgil get along pretty well because Verge knows ASL and needs to talk A LOT. J.J. is in a relationship with Marvin, a magician that works in the theatre not far from the school, the same theatre Roman ends up working as a part time job (that he does not need, but loves it nonetheless). 2) Matt "the Host" Alpier, the second quieter guy in the school. He was J.J.'s best friend even before Virgil arrived and nobody knows how they used to communicate since the Host is completely blind since birth. Only Virgil knows that J.J. used Morse Code against the Host's hand, but pretends to know nothing when people ask, because it's funnier this way. He has a total unrequited crush for the president of the Debate Club, Bim Trimmer, because he thinks his voice is the best thing on earth. Bim barely knows of his existence.

- Roman has two bros he hangs out with, and he's witty enough to know that they actually like him for who he is, and not for his money. 1) Chase Brody, Anti's older brother, the only one in a straight relationship with his childhood love Stacey. Loves his nerf gun and does the best bmx tricks. 2) Michael Bing, an amazing skateboarder (he won a couple championships) with the heart of gold and the brain of a chicken. He is not the brightest. But MAN if he knows how to skate! He is in a relationship with the college dropout Remy “Sleeping Booty / Sleeping Bitch” Morphes, a wonderful, tall, lovely genderfluid partner, with a fondness for baseball bats and helping Patton in his quest for Logan’s heart.

- Finally, also Dark has two "minions" who follows him around, and he is just as witty as his twin and KNOWS they hang with him because of papa's money. 1) Jaques Septique, a french boy who simply loves painting, and does the best graffiti art, too bad he is a complete bitch at heart. He and his boyfriend are known to be the worst people to get on a bad side, because they can ruin you in an instant. 2) Dewey "Deceit" Seeth, Jaques boyfriend. He runs the school journal, and takes personally care of the gossip corner of the paper. He has a couple of pictures of Schneep and Anti clearly flirting and is constantly blackmailing the Good Doctor to have some drugs for him and his two friends.

Oh well, that was a handful! I hope you like my ideas, feel TOTALLY FREE to use these ideas because as I said, I probably won't have the time to write or draw anything about it, I probably add some bits and pieces, so if you want to be added, just say!

Love you all, thanks for the attention!